4.  As long as we are stuck in the old pattern, we will attract partners who reinforce it.

For one whose sense of self is compromised in this way, it is common to attract a partner with boundary issues of their own, who may collude in recreating historical relational struggles.

For example, when the relationship is characterized by enmeshment and control, it recreates a complex ambivalent dynamic, offering both that which is longed for and that which is difficult. However, even this can show the way out.

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